REFLECT
Love. It’s everywhere, being talked about all the time. Everywhere we look, we see a desire for love. People have a deep longing to love and to be loved. That’s why it shows up everywhere… it’s in our DNA. Think of your favourite movie, song, or book… what do they all have in common? That’s right, love! One of the key pieces of most creative expressions is the expression and longing of love.
Love. It’s such a simple word, yet it can mean so many things. Think about all the different ways we experience it:
There’s the newly lit spark of romantic love shared between two people, forged in excitement and anticipation for what may be.
There’s the deep, patient love that spouses share, that no matter what they find themselves going through, they choose each other no matter what.
There’s the unconditional, long-suffering kind love that a parent has for their child.
There’s the bond of love shared between friends (I’m thinking of Sam and Frodo’s deep friendship in the Lord of the Rings)
There’s even the love that one has for their favourite tea or coffee in the morning!
Love. You think that the amount we talk about it, we’d get bored of it. You’d think that the amount of time we spend desiring, hoping for, and pursing love, we’d either find it and be fully satisfied, or give up on it. But what it means to be human is this: to be human is to love and to be loved. All of us long for love, and there is nothing in this world than can fully satisfy that longing.
Growing up, I had a very loving family. I still do. They loved me and let me know it. But even with their love, it wasn’t enough. I still felt unloved. I would end up using other means to find love, and for me, this was doing everything I could to make everyone happy, because if I made everyone happy, they would love me. On the outside, I looked like a very kind, thoughtful person. On the inside, I was deeply insecure, trying to earn a love.
The thing about love is that it’s so much more than a emotion, a concept, or a choice. Love is a person. Love is not something we can earn, measure, or expect. It’s a person, and that means it’s out of the bounds of our control.
1 John 4: 19 says, “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them”. God doesn’t just love us… God IS love. God is love PERSONIFIED. Love is a person, and his name is Jesus. And Love himself created us in his image, in his likeness, to both receive love and give it.
Love is something so many of us desire, and many believe it’s something we earn, and fearful it’s something we’ll never get. But listen to this: for thousands of years, humanity waited for God to come and save them. They longed for him, to help them, to be with them, to show love to them. And after a LONG waiting period, good news showed up! Love himself arrived in the person of Jesus. He didn’t wait until they did all the right things for him to show up. He didn’t wait to show up until they fixed everything going on in their lives. He showed up at the exact time he intended to, and there’s nothing done or to be done that could have changed that. They were utterly surprised by love.
What does love truly look like? “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us” (1 John 3: 16). Love himself gave himself for us. There is nothing more he could have given us than himself. That is the ultimate picture of love. Even if we were perfectly loved by every single human being on this planet, it would still not be enough to fulfill that desire. The only person that can truly satisfy our longing for love is Love himself- Jesus. So maybe the invite is this: invite Love into your life. Instead of trying to convince him to love you, try creating space to allow Love to surprise you.
DISCUSS
Where do you find yourself longing for love this Advent season? Are you craving it from your spouse, your kids, your friends? Are you trying to earn it by doing everything you can for the sake of others, even though it’s hurting you in the process? Are you desiring a love that you don’t yet have, and wondering if you’ll ever get it? Or are you mourning a love you once had, grieving a person who is no longer with you or a relationship lost? When these kinds of things happen, we turn to other modes of being to survive.
Some of us turn to judgement. We judge ourselves for not doing everything right, believing that we are not worthy of love. Do you believe you are worthy of love? Why or why not?
Some of us rely on codependency, totally relying and depending upon another person to fulfill all of our needs, and when they fall short, we come crashing down. Do you settle for being codependent? Do you have unrealistic expectations of others?
Or, we can find ourselves in a state of self-loathing. Do you find yourself in this space? How is self-loathing showing up in your life?
PRACTICE
Listen | Jesus, what do you want to say about LOVE in my life?
Write down specifics - memories, words, phrases, lies, attitudes.
Ask | Jesus, awaken me to the ability to be surprised by LOVE.
Give Thanks | Read 1 John 3:11-24 and 1 John 4:7-21 in worship to Jesus for being the full embodiment of LOVE.
RESPOND
This week, embrace LOVE by taking time to sit with Jesus and ask, “Jesus, how do you really feel about me?”. Allow Jesus the space to tell you how he really feels about you. This is called Listening Prayer, and here’s a few tips if you’ve never tried it before.
Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit. Try to eliminate any distractions. Have a pen and notebook at hand.
Take a few deep breaths and try to still your mind. This is difficult and takes practice, so if your mind is racing, it’s okay. Just gently try to bring it back to a place of stillness.
Close your eyes, and ask Jesus (out loud), “Jesus, how do you really feel about me?”.
Pay attention to what comes to mind. If any pictures, words, phrases, memories, etc. come to mind, take notes and write them down. You don’t need to edit them.
After a few minutes, open your eyes. Observe any thoughts that came to mind. Sometimes we don’t know if they are from Jesus or not, but a few helpful questions when sifting through can be:
Is it true?
Is it honest?
Is it compatible with love?
Does it line up with the character of Jesus?
This exercise allows us to create space to hear Jesus. Don’t force anything, and don’t despair if you don’t hear anything yet!
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